Who Cares What They Think?
Last week I enjoyed exploring SE Alaska hiking, whale watching and touring a glacier. I was amazed at the number of humpback whales surrounding the boat. At the glacier we saw dramatic calving. Our captain remarked that it's receded nearly 2 miles in the 40 years he's been going up there. That gives one pause for certain.
Putting in the reps
This week as I kick off year two of Own The Cow, I want to focus on doing the work. Anne Lamott has a great book for writers called Bird by Bird. It's premise is to get you on your butt and write. No matter how you feel. Just write. Write crap. Edit later. The important thing is to get your work out there.
In any endeavor, success comes from doing the work over and over. Designing your career or life isn't automatic. You gotta put in the reps. Not news for most of you. I've shared this thought before.
A couple of things crystalized the importance of just jumping in feet first and doing the work. And not worrying what others will think.
First, "Bird by Bird" is a reference from Anne's father to her brother who procrastinated until the last on writing his fourth grade paper on birds. Her dad said, you do it bird by bird. Piece by piece. Line by line. Step by step. Insurmountable goals become surmountable by breaking them down into small bites you can wrap your head around. Then the momentum kicks in.
We often don't do the work because we're so worried about failing or making a fool of ourselves. We'd rather be mediocre than stretch and fail.
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.” - Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird
Scott Belsky, CEO of Adobe said that people are more interested in those that dropped out of their MBA than those that finished. No one cares about your MBA. The story is why you quit to pursue something more interesting. He has a great book called Making Ideas Happen. Worth reading more than once.
Steve Jobs talked about making a dent in the universe. Considering our lifespans versus the Universe, that's a tall order. Damn impossible really. Although collectively us humans are doing a good job taking down our dear blue orb. Maybe the dent we can make is in restoring it to its full and upright position. Ensuring that our children's children's children will be able to inhabit it.
Most of what causes our inertia is in our head. Mind games. Which brings me to something I've been thinking a lot about this month.
On July 2, a colleague I knew at a prior company committed suicide. Just 40 and successful by all outward measures, something in him decided it was too much. He'd called me less than 10 days before to catch up. Sounded his happy, normal self. Busy as always. We talked about what biz books we're reading. I recommended a couple I thought he'd like. Appreciated the chance to catch up. But had no idea he was hurting. Zilch. This still hits a little hard.
Tim Ferris talked about how he came close to doing the same thing. Got a book and planned it. Scheduled it even. What stopped him was he ordered the book from the library and they sent a reminder card to his parents' home letting them know it was in. His mom called him to ask him about it and that call snapped him out of his funk. By all accounts he's quite successful, but he's had to battle inner demons too.
Anne talked about her travails too with drugs and alcohol and major anxiety. Successful on the outside with three published books she was a total mess and then found grace and help after a three-day black out.
Life is fragile
People around us are hurting and we can have no idea. Not that we can all help or prevent tragedy. Makes me think, though, about what matters. And what doesn't. What doesn't matter is worrying about what others think of our pursuits. What matters is that you do what's in your heart. Damn the torpedoes.
Our destiny is what we make it and we have so much power within to shape it. Watching the glacier calve underscored the importance of action. The importance of valuing time and the people I surround myself with. And knowing that none of us is perfect. It's okay to be flawed. Embrace the flaws. Polish them. Make them work for you. That's where you might find the nuggets of your success.
Here's to being you. To stretching. And as Graham Fink says, the most important moment is now. Right now. You can't go back to the past. And the future is always tomorrow. You'll never get there. But you are always in the now.
Now is the time for you to leap. As Anne tells us, go make shitty first drafts. Don’t worry what they think. They’re not the ones doing the work.