What's luck got to do with it?
This is a bit of a continuation from last week’s letter as we return to the role of luck in our lives. And also our innate power with more from “The Biggest Bluff.”
That little voice in your head is doing you more harm than you might realize. What say you to yourself when you look in the mirror in the morning? Unless you’re a raving egomaniac who walks on water, I bet you can be pretty damn brutal. I know I can.
We’ve all heard that if you’re feeling down, turn that frown upside down. Force a smile and your mood could change for the better. Would you believe that more than once I wanted to test out how our thoughts impacted how we felt? And so, being the curious soul I am, I made myself feel sad by thinking sad thoughts. Really thinking them. It didn’t take long for my chest to tighten and stomach to sink. I made myself go from relatively happy to darn sad. I felt heavy. I then decided to reverse it. Harder that was. It’s easy to wallow in self pity. So easy. I’ve done this a couple more times and then when I really was sad, made myself happy by smiling and thinking good thoughts. This took longer but it, too worked.
Knowing this, I now limit how long I let myself spiral. It’s like having antilock brakes on your mood. Sometimes you need to let yourself feel sad and angry. To get it out of your system. It’s hard to get really happy if you try to ignore the sad. The angry. But control you have over your emotions. Takes effort. Intention. But you can – if you choose to – change your mood. Maybe you won’t find euphoria. But you can pull yourself out of the pit of despair.
It’s mindset. And your mind is a force to reckon with. For good and bad. This isn't to minimize times when you just need to feel the emotions. When the hurt is so bad. Life can throw some curveballs your way. In those moments its best to sit with the emotions and not make any big decisions. That's when you should simply breathe. But, the more you are aware of and can manage your emotions, the better you are to navigate a crisis.
As one who spends an inordinate amount of time in my head, what's hard is feeling the feels. Or being able to articulate what I'm feeling in the moment. That usually comes later . . . when I think about it. Back to my head, you know?
This passage by Maria Konnikova from The Biggest Bluff confirms my test:
“How we frame something affects not just our thinking but our emotional state. It may seem a small deal, but the words we select – the ones we filter out and the ones we eventually choose to put forward – are a mirror to our thinking. Clarity of language is clarity of thought – and the expression of a certain sentiment, no matter how innocuous it seems can change your leaning your thinking, your mindset, your mood, your whole outlook.. . . The language we use becomes our mental habits – and our mental habits determine how we learn, how we grow, what we become. It’s not just a question of semantics telling bad beat stories matters. Our thinking about luck has real consequences in terms of our emotional well-being, our decisions, and the way we implicitly view the world and our role in it.”
Read that again. You have more power over your success than you realize. Luck plays a big role in terms of where and when you were born, your genetics, and opportunities that land in your lap.
Count on luck to see you through, you’ll lose. Count on yourself and luck rewards your preparation. Your tenacity.
No matter how prepared you are, there’s the serendipity of luck. Good and bad. You can’t time it. You can only ride it. But if you’re not prepared. Not in tune, You might miss it. And that would be a bummer. Luck’s fickle.
Does drama find you attractive?
Create the conditions for luck to happen. Ever notice how some people are drama magnets? It seems there's always something happening to them. With them. Things that should be small puddles to hop turn into roiling oceans. Have you felt that way about yourself at times? "Things come in threes," the saying goes. But do they?
The universe doesn't have a calculator singling you out. It's just doing it's thing while you do yours.
But your brain may have other plans. Especially when it goes into a tailspin. It goes back to mindset. When you lose your patience or your nerve, more things tend to go wrong. And seem louder.
Some people identify with bad things happening to them. Life is happening to them. Nothing seems to work out. They never get lucky. Yet continually talk about when they get lucky THEN goodness will arrive.
People like to surround themselves with others that make them feel good. Not crappy. They want to help those with a penchant for success. It's inspiring. And draining to help those who squander the help. Or throw up endless excuses for why something didn't work, won't work or is simply impossible. I think we all know someone like that.
The more you show up as a positive force for others the more they'll think of you when opportunity knocks. That's what it means to create the conditions for luck to happen. The more good vibes you put out there, the better you'll feel, the more people will want to spend time with you. It's inspiring. Makes it easier for luck to find you.
The next time you think someone got lucky, ask what they did to make that happen. I bet there's a lot beneath the surface.