Inquire within
Can we change the language of work? Can we create substance over noise? Can we hustle AND create meaning at the same time?
I was listening to a podcast and it was interrupted by another 'must listen to' business podcast. I cringed and felt my hackles raised. Enough! I said to myself. Made me not want to listen to that podcast anymore. How much more do we really need? I certainly don't feel I need another. In fact, I've quit listening to most podcasts in favor of books. Deeper dives. Even there, I'm quick to leave a book that doesn't deliver.
Made me recognize how I'm struggling with the dearth of content hitting me - us - from all angles. I'm also aware I'm adding to this deluge. I feel compelled to write and create because I'm on a mission to help you figure out your work. My idealist self believes there's a place in the river of noise for you and I to create and lives the lives we yearn for. Merely existing isn't enough. We want to flourish.
I recognize that this might seem gratuitous to write when millions of Ukrainians just want to be able to sleep in their own beds. Yet are massed underground or fleeing their homes wondering when and how this hell will end. Same for Syrians and so many others who've lost everything to the ravages of war. It's heartbreaking to watch the violent devastation and inhumanity brought upon others for what end?
The world is both very beautiful and very ugly at the same time. It's hard to reconcile.
Such moments make me think about the why of our work. The meetings and emails and endless slide decks. How many of them make a difference? How many of them are advancing the goals for you and society? How can I - we - make them matter more?
How can we work better together? To add to rather than take away? I don't believe a frenzied hustle is the answer for most.
Things don't get done without injecting a sense of urgency and accountability. Too easy to put off the big stuff that doesn't address the now. The trick, I believe, is finding the right amount of urgency that works for you. Can you embrace the hustle required without succumbing to the burnout?
When you look around and see the 'movers and shakers' it's easy to feel defeated. That you don't have what they've got. That 'they' must be more important because they're always busy and their schedule is packed.
Such comparisons are destructive AND almost impossible to ignore. It's our nature.
Brene Brown in Atlas of the Heart talks about how comparing yourself to others has no positive benefit. Even if you are comparing yourself to someone less fortunate than yourself. It doesn't matter. We should avoid them and live life on our terms. Yet compare we do. And so we quit. Or don't start. And keep on keeping on with our routines wishing for things to be different.
There is a way.
Well-known coach Jerry Colonna talks about the need for 'radical self inquiry'. He gets leaders to know who they are so that they learn how their past influences how they lead.
In his book, Reboot, he talks about the importance of looking within to discover your truest self. He wants you to confront your demons because only then can you realize your full potential.
"The goal, then, is to help you listen to the stories of your heart so that, in the end, you can know the why of your leadership journey and become the adult, the full human you were meant to be." - Jerry Colonna
Jerry talked about how he kept in constant motion thinking that moving faster would ensure he had enough money after seeing how his parents never had enough. He was on the success fast track but hollow inside. On the outside, he exuded the epitome of success and quickly rose up the ranks.
Jerry gets even the most hardened leaders to open up. He has a way of asking questions that give one pause. When people want answers, he gives them questions. Only you know the answers.
Wherever you are now on your journey, take a moment to think about where you want to be. Then consider the following questions from his book and see what comes up:
- Where am I running from and where to?
- How did my relationship to money first get formed?
- How did that relationship shape the work I've chosen and my definitions of success and failure?
- How does it shape my view of the quality of others' work and contributions?
- What was the belief system around money and work that I grew up with?
- How does that impact my view of my own worthiness?
Often times our pasts impact how we relate with others and we don't know it. When Jerry's coaching his clients around conflict with partners and colleagues, and impulse to dismiss others as irrational, he gets them to ask questions that uncover habits and patterns that shape interactions:
- What parts of me are being projected onto the other person (others)?
- How do I reclaim those parts of me?
- What do my reactions say about me?
- What do I do what I do?
- Why do they do what they do?
- What need fo love, safety or belonging might they be trying to meet with their irrational behavior?
It's not easy to look inside. Yet that's the place we must start. What are you pretending not to know? What are you avoiding? Sometimes, we don't realize what this is. And that's why it's important to get off autopilot.
Because if you're to realize your work and life goals, and become financially independent, you need to get clear about what it is you're all about. Your point of differentiation needs to be meaningful, authentic, relevant, unique and durable. Getting there requires YOU to know who you are and what drives you.
The price of inaction is high: you remain stuck. The price of action is you learn something about yourself. You peel away the things you don't want to do and get closer to that place where your value meets the value the world needs.