"I don't have time to be unhappy."
You don't either.
I recently took my mom to a funeral for a nearly lifelong friend who passed at 91. As a kid, I remember going to their house in the country and always loved it.
Elaine always had a smile. And alway welcomed you with open arms. At her service, a woman from her assisted living facility shared how she told her
"I don't have time to be unhappy."
What a powerful, positive lesson for all of us. We know our time is fleeting no matter where we are in our lives. Sadly, when we're young we don't grasp this concept. It's usually middle age and beyond when it starts to sink in.
How much energy do we expend on silly slights? Or getting mad over little things like traffic jams and mosquitos (yes, they annoy me a lot)? More than we should I'd say.
And then there the endless stream of negative news and crises ("If it bleeds, it leads"). Collins has even made 'permacrisis' as word of the year.
Add to that how Social media has amplified the hate rhetoric. From the virtual water cooler to the toxic water cooler
Get absorbed in this onslaught and your hopes and dreams can quickly vaporize in the muck.
Which means it's important to manage your intake. Acknowledge that spending MORE time clicking through the news or your feed of choice won't make it better nor will it get you where you want to go. You are what you eat. Know enough of what's going on to be informed. But don't let the news own you. This daily newsletter does a good job with this.
From >>>> To
Below on the left are some possible words that describe how you might feel with the dearth of negative news and vitriol. On the right are words that can pull you out of the negative abyss and into a place of constructive progress.
- Angry > > > Peaceful
- Rage > > > Joy
- Despair > > > Hope
- Hopeless > > > Optimistic
- Unlikely > > > Possible
- Vengeance > > > Compassion
- Anxiety > > > Calm
- Fear > > > Excitement
- Despondent > > > Encouraged
- Cowardice > > > Audacity
- Apathy > > > Passion
- Paralyzed > > > Dynamic
- Hollow > > > Vibrant
- Improbable > > > Believable
For each of these negative emotions, how can you reframe your situation into something positive?
We're hardwired to give more credit to negative over the positive. We assume the worst.
BUT . . .
While you may not be able to control the thoughts that burst into your mind, you have control on what you pay attention to. Just like the content you consume anywhere, you get to choose which thoughts you pay attention to. And which you simply acknowledge and send packing.
Absorbing negative news is like eating all carbs. Or High-fructose corn syrup. It makes you feel crappy and lethargic. And then you get sick. Just like you need a balanced diet to stay healthy and ward off disease, you need a balanced diet of news and information to keep your mind healthy and balanced. To provide perspective to the doom.
Resistance pushes us away from taking action. Doubt overwhelms possibility. Don't give it the attention it tries to steal from you. If you take action, maybe just show up and do some work - no matter how crappy it is - you're robbing doubt and resistance of their power. And the more you do that, the more momentum you'll get and the easier this becomes.
Try something on, like a 30 day challenge. Starting right now, pick an activity. Maybe it's a daily photo with your phone. Or maybe it's poetry. Or drawing faces. Doesn't matter. What matters is that you do something everyday just for you. After 30 days you'll have a collection of work. You may choose to toss it in the trash. Or maybe it sparks your next big project. Either way, you'll have established the discipline of showing up and doing some work. You don't have to wait and start at the first of the a month. You can start right now. Your work. Your rules. Go!
And if you still doubt your confidence in your abilities because you're stepping into uncharted territory, just remember that everyone is winging it. Some just hide it better than others.